


The only award that ever mattered

by painispeace



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Child Neglect, Howard Stark Has Issues, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Neglect, Parent-Child Relationship, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21533716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/painispeace/pseuds/painispeace
Summary: Tony remembered December 16,1991 as fresh as yesterday.He remembered drowning inside of a bottle and breathing in the magical powders that made his breath raspy, not quite unlike it had been most times he had sprinted to show something to Howard.He was mad. He was angry. He had lost. He had lost his chance to make Howard proud. He had worked himself almost into his grave, coming up with revolutionary things, things that world praised and labelled him as a ‘genius in making’ for.But he had fallen short. That one glance of appreciation, that one pat on the back that mattered the most, he had failed to earn it and now he could never have it.So nothing else was going to matter ever again.This is a fic about why Tony stopped showing up to any award shows and how he was ready to recieve the award with Rhodey at end of iron man 2.
Relationships: Howard Stark & Tony Stark, Howard Stark/Tony Stark, Obadiah Stane & Tony Stark, Obadiah Stane/Tony Stark
Kudos: 14





	The only award that ever mattered

He entered Howard’s workshop, his small chubby hands holding on to his first ever science fair trophy that was bigger than his head. His heart was thumping fast from sprinting along the hallways. He struggled to catch his breath as he raised it above his face which was adorned with the most adorable proud smile. His eyes twinkled with anticipation as he spoke, ”Look Daddy, Daddy, Dad!!!”his voice bubbling with raspy breaths, lined with outbursts of excitement.

Howard was half bent over a table, his nose buried into the schematics, not paying him any heed. Tony walked over to him, not being able to contain his silly childish enthusiasm, he hopefully tugged and pulled at Howard’s trousers. ”Please look Daddy I won the science fair and they said I am the smartest and the best. Even smarter than the big kids!”

“You fool,” Howard fumed, shoving away his little hopeful hand, still clutching onto his pants.” Who let him in?!Maria, how many times do I have tell that he’s not allowed in my workspaces. It can be dangerous.” 

“Get Out!” Howard commanded.”But Dad, the trophy, I wanted to show you…..”

“I don’t have time for these stupid things Anthony, get out!” Howard spat. ”But…”

“Now Boy!”

“Yes, sir…”he blurted out and ran, dropping the trophy on workshop’s floor. He dashed straight to his room, locking himself in, he cried himself to sleep.

===============================================================================================

Jarvis beamed at him as he entered Tony’s MIT hostel room.

“I am so proud of my boy,” Jarvis chimed as Tony kept staring through the door’s hinges behind him.

“So Mom and Dad couldn’t make it I guess,” Tony tried to sound cheerful but his shoulders slumped against his feeble undernourished frame. His heart fluttered as he saw some movement behind him and the pits of his eyes sunk further as he saw Ana enter. But soon enough he gave a wide smile and made grabby hands as he hugged her.

“No ducky, but you know they are very proud of you. Graduating top of your class, young man, we are all so proud of you,” she said, planting a kiss on his head, ruffling his hair. ”We love you.”

Tony would be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt that Howard didn’t even reply to his letters or attend his calls. He had gotten used to Howard being unimpressed with everything he made but for once he had let his hopes ride high. His mother too had chosen to ignore him as usual, probably too busy gloating to her friends about it to come see him.

“I am sorry Tony,” Jarvis said, pressing a palm on his shoulder. “No, thank you Jarvis, thanks for coming,” Tony said as he gave a weak broken smile. ”You need to eat more.I brought cake!” Ana announced. ”Chocolate chip?” Tony enquired and giggled when she nodded.

===============================================================================================

Tony was dying and this strange eye patched man was telling him that Howard was his last hope. Tony knew better than to hope for anything from him.Tony knew that he was doomed. 

Tony remembered December 16,1991 as fresh as yesterday.He remembered drowning inside of a bottle and breathing in the magical powders that made his breath raspy, not quite unlike it had been most times he had sprinted to show something to Howard.

He was mad. He was angry. He had lost. He had lost his chance to make Howard proud. He had worked himself almost into his grave, coming up with revolutionary things, things that world praised and labelled him as a ‘genius in making’ for.

But he had fallen short. That one glance of appreciation, that one pat on the back that mattered the most, he had failed to earn it and now he could never have it.So nothing else was going to matter ever again.

So he stopped, just abandoned going to all awards and even his PHD convocations. He just had it collected later and sometimes he didn’t even bother with that. The first time someone had asked him if he thought he was too good for all those laurels a idea struck him. A rude, arrogant billionaire, a perfect mask to hide the broken boy, to protect his feeble flesh from the sharks.

Obie was the first one to talk to him about it. ”I can’t Obie, after Howard I just can’t bring myself to go…”Obie was the first one to understand.The first shark he felt safe with.The first one to know that Tony Stark had a heart.He promised to go in his stead and cover for him everywhere that was important.

Obie knew Tony did things to distract himself from his greatest failure. Things like splurging millions in a casino and spending nights with girls so he wouldn’t spend them sinking in a bottle, thinking about Howard. He helped him, covered for him, showed him the ropes, took care of him and then he………..he tried to kill him.

==================================================================================

Tony stared with blank, deep chocolate eyes at the video that was rolling, despair swirling deep inside, masked with the perfect layers of arrogance and confidence.

“My greatest creation is you,” Howard said and it was like Tony was a boy again. His heart fluttered and cheeks flushed as he struggled to believe it. ”Too good to be true,” he told himself. The videos must be doctored .

But there was another one, where Howard was standing across from a closet in his private workshop in the mansion. It was lined with all the broken trophies, thrown and soiled certificates. Tony recognized his first trophy on the top shelf. Was he hiding them because he would be ashamed if anyone saw them?

But Howard gave a small, crooked yet warm smile at the camera.” I am so proud of you my boy. So much better than me already huh? Living upto the Stark name more than I ever could. Your grandfather would have been proud of you,”he said as he turned and sat on a chair and Tony continued to listen with rapt attention.He thought his heart might leap out of his chest as his eyes glistened, floodgates of tears threatening to open but he managed to hold them at bay.

“I am so glad you turned out like this.You make so may beautiful things, not just things that explode and shoot.Not just another merchant of death. Your innovations in bio medical field have saved lives. So, I guess keeping away from you all these years must have paid off. Keeping my shadows and blood stained legacy away from you……Tony………I…..I missed you……I missed you so much but I had to do this for you,” and finally Tony had lost the last strand of control as fat tears rolled out and he wept like a child. ”Why!!!!!!........"he screamed….."What’s the point…..!!!”he was furious.

“I was so glad when I heared you were a fan of the captain. I hope you take after him. I never gave up looking for him you know, he would have been a good influence. But today I am supposed to take this serum with me and…..and I don’t know. I can’t wait to see you take over. You will finish what I started and begin a new, kinder, nobler era of science. You will pioneer a new world. But just in case we don’t make it, I want you to know, I love you tons….”Howard gave a weak smile, his eyes were glistening too.”Whom am I kidding, everything will turn out alright in the end and I will probably toss this into a bin,”he said as the screen went blank and Tony couldn’t bring himself to move.The chatty, confident billionaire was out of words.He spent the night huddled in his chair, staring into the void as Jarvis gave up after a few repeated requests for him to go upstairs to his bedroom.But Tony couldn't go, he couldn't risk losing this moment.What if he moved and it all turned out to be a dream.He couldn't move!

Howard loved him. Howard appreciated him. That was going to be enough for a lifetime.He didn't need anything else now.

Now Tony knew he had to save himself and the world. He wouldn’t let Howard down.

========================================================================================

Tony had asked Fury to have Rhodey honoured by that rude Senator.Turns out he arranged a award for him as well, perhaps a way to butter him.

“Jarvis can you tell Obie….”Tony began but stopped midway as he swallowed a lump.

“Sir?” Jarvis asked, “Should I inform Ms.Potts or Colonel?”

“NO” Tony said, “I will be there.”

He was ready.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think  
> Comments and kudos make my day
> 
> Also come say hi to me on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B5KoI6nlOsb/  
> Page name intonystarkwetrust


End file.
